A note from 'Irreconcilable Differences'

With more and more marriages ending with 'irreconcilable differences', cited as the reason for breaking up, I wondered what 'irreconcilable differences' would say, if it was a human being and could give it's 3 cents. Read on. 

Hi, 

My name is Irreconcilable Differences. Even if you don’t know me personally (yet), I am sure you have heard about me. No? I am the one who is blamed for most celebrity (and common man) divorces. I tend to come around after two people have taken vows and promised to be together forever and have lots of cool pictures to prove it. I mean, check this…Angelina and Brad were together for 10 years and I didn’t show up. They get married and two years after, look at me strolling in and ending their love story.

Ok! Enough of the cynicism. 

I am fed up. Right now, I totally understand how the Devil must feel every time the police nab an armed robber and he says “abeg sir, na devil”. Gosh! Take responsibility guys. And to you, Legal Jagon, who conveniently puts me in the mix of these divorces, I will find you and I will make you read these 3 reasons why you should leave me alone.

i. I am just a convenient, over used excuse. Think about it. These people have real issues. One or both of them have done things that don’t work for their marriage so why don’t they blame those? For instance, infidelity, domestic abuse, child molestation or, one which I think people really ought to say more, the love is dead. 

ii. Irreconcilable differences. Really? The fact that I exist just makes people lazy. Yup, I said it. I make people too lazy to fix themselves and walk through problems. I mean people have had daily arguments for a week and decided to divorce and because I exist, they blame me. They need to get off their lazy bones and fix themselves.

iii. I really don’t exist. Think about it for a second. The reason ‘agreeing to disagree’ exists is to render me useless. And frankly, I am fine with being useless. 

Leave me alone. Blame the real reasons you are breaking up or damn well reconcile your differences. Leave me alone.