DaDiva Says: Tips for getting closure and getting over heartbreak

Truth be told, I have never been one to stay mulling over a failed relationship. It hurts when love goes sour, but I believe that the pain you feel should not stop you from loving yourself. When a person comes in to your life and leaves your life, it is either the person is going for now, to come back later or the person has done their time in your life and you are meant to learn a lesson from them and move on.

Whatever the case is, a break up always leaves us feeling sour...no matter how much of a tough skin you have. So, here are my tried and tested tips for getting over heart break.

1. CRY:

When you feel pain, the most human way to express it is to cry. Do no bottle up your hurt inside...it is ok if you do not want to embarrass yourself and cry in the presence of your ex or friends, but by all means, find a place that works for you (or a person) and cry your eyes out...scream too if it helps you breath better.

2. ACCEPT:

Chances are that as you cry, you will accept the truth about the situation...the relationship is over. Say that to yourself over and over until you believe it and accept it. The acceptance is going to help you gain closure and refocus your energy.

3. GET RID OF HIS/HER STUFF:

Return the things that belong to your ex...pay back what you borrowed from him/her...some people say it is childish and stuff but trust me, if it is childish then kids know exactly how to move on. If you can not return the stuff, convert them to other uses eg, a tshirt from 'him' that you used to sleep in can become a rag for cleaning your kitchen floor. If converting them to other uses won't work for you, then store them away in a place you wont have to access regularly.  

This helps you reduce the number of times you may miss him/her and start to feel the pain all over again.

4. EVALUATE:

Take a few days to honestly ask yourself what went wrong...find out from yourself, if there are things about you that may have caused the relationship to end and then take steps to develop yourself and be a better person.

5. INDULGE IN THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:

Take a break, go to the spa, go to the movies, treat yourself to ice cream...just indulge in things that make you happy even if these things are things that your ex stopped you from doing because he/she didn't like it. However, try not to pick up old bad habits that the Ex may have helped you kick.

6. OPEN UP YOUR HEART AND MIND TO LOVE AGAIN:

Falling in love is a decision. You need to decide to be open to meeting a new person and letting yourself fall in love again.

7. PRAY TO MEET A BETTER PERSON AND BE A BETTER PERSON:

Relationships are a two way thing....you want to meet someone better than your ex, well, you also need to make sure you are a person better than the person your ex met (and perhaps, better than your future lover's ex). After all is said and done, self development is achieved best when you decide to do it and pray for God to help you achieve it.

So, people of God, fall in love....and if you fall out of love, move on and be happy.