Random Ramblings of a Phoenix: Touched. Unseen

It was always fun to play with the neighbors...
Growing up as the odd child out, meant there was really never much else to do at home.
The neighbors were the great escape.
They had boys and girls...old and young.

She didn't feel odd or too young or too small.
She wasn't reminded that she was too little to understand (even though she often laughed in her head, at those who thought she didn't know that what they called a peepee was really called a vagina)



It was fun to play at the neighbors...
They played dress up and stage; drama and life;
They played like Ruth and Rachel in ‘Secrets of the Sand’...they swung their necks like the Bold and the Beautiful.
They were happy.

Then they made their first story…
'He would be married to her and they would have a child and they would live happily evermore.'
The story was great.
The actors were amazing; he was even a Method Actor at that age.

He told her they had to make the child even though the neighbor playing the child was already made.
After the story wedding was done, he bent her over and made their child.
She wept and asked him to stop.
He said to be a good actor, she had to mimic the sounds they had all heard from her brother's room.
She said it hurt and begged him to stop
He said the sounds would help and pinned her hands down to the cold bathroom floor.
She opened her mouth.
She let out shrieks of pain.
He said she got the sound wrong and told her to try again.
She begged.
He thrust harder.
She wept.
He said she was a terrible actor.

The baby was made and the story was a great one. They all lived happily ever after.
But she didn't.

She was 7 and she knew what had been done to her. Her shame and her pain made her jump and play and pretend she was ok. After all, she was wearing a dress in her favorite color and that always made her happy.

On the short walk home, the stains on her went unseen.
Her pain went unseen.
Her pretty yellow dress did well to mask the darkness that she had seen.

She was 7 and she had been touched.
She knew 'yellow' was no longer her favorite color and she would never be the same again

Photo Credit: http://www.deviantart.com/