5 Stages of Dating

I was watching season 2 of Flash (yes, yes, I know I’m late) and I got fixated on a line that Patsy said to Barry, when she just couldn’t understand what was going on with him. She said something like “It’s been fun and it’s been great but I am ready to move on to the close part. That is what I want”.

It made me think about these 5 stages of dating 

i. The “Meet and Connect” stage:

This is the part where you both meet, swap numbers, talk a few times and then have the 1st date. You don’t know what it is, but there is something about this person that just attracts you and you want to see if the connection is strong. You guys talk about random things and you pretty much have a mental picture of what you both have in common. 

ii. The “Fun” stage:

At this stage, you like the connection you felt and want to explore some more. You have the 2nd date and several other dates after that. You go out together a lot and do romantic stuff. You spend 40% of your time on the phone with this person and you feel flutters in your belly when you think of them. This is the stage for making memories and doing silly, fun, random things that you both can talk and laugh about, later in your relationship.

iii. The “Close” stage:

At this point, it is no longer about the romance and long walks on the beach (even though those are still great to have). It is now more about what makes this person wake up every day. You want to feel what they feel and understand how they think and you want them to feel you too. You want to share moments with them that get you in the heart and help you walk in their shoes. You want this person to be your right hand soldier and you want to be theirs too. At this stage, you pick up on everything – stories that don’t add up, questionable schedules and ‘friends’, shady behaviors and things that raise your natural lover antennae. This is the stage with the most fights and arguments. In this stage, if both of you are not able to iron out most of the challenges and clear out a lot of questions you both may have, the relationship might come to an end. Also, if one person gets to this stage before the other, it becomes a challenging relationship.

iv. The “Commitment” stage:

If you both survive the ‘close’ stage, you get to a point of understanding. You both know you are in this for the long haul and you make a decision to stay, no matter what. All the fights in the ‘close’ stage already made you re-jig all your other relationships anyway, so this person is the primary focus of your affection and attention. It is usually the longest stage of a healthy relationship and has some spill overs from the ‘close’ stage but at this point, the doubt is reduced and even when there are fights, there is a sense that it can and will be resolved.

v. The “Meet-the-clan” stage:

This is the stage where you meet the parents. Ok, being realistic, you may have already met the parents but at this stage, you connect with the person or people, who’s opinion truly counts in the life of this person. It could be a pastor, a best friend, a sibling, a mentor etc. You become one of them and join the clan. The clan members know that you have a say in this person’s life and accord you that regard.

What stage are you on in your relationship?