3 Forgotten 'Wife-Material' Codes

-For ladies who want to be them and Men who want to find them

We all know the usual suspects – lady in the streets, freak in the sheets; be prayerful and homely; can cook up a storm; hard working, stays snatched and looks yummy etc. These are all things that, I actually find, are pretty debatable. Before I wrote this piece, I asked a number of people on my contact list, about the 3 things that are most important to them in their perfect ‘wife material’. I was surprised to find that not a lot of men had the cooking criterion in there. And only one lady, out of 12, mentioned ‘good sex’. Funny, yeah?

Moving away from the obvious things that we think should be in the code, I am going to highlight 3 things that we, most times, forget to consider.

i. Money Smart: 

This isn’t about her making more money or any money at all. (because, as much as some people will rather die, there is nothing wrong with choosing to be a full time house wife – for a few years). This is about her knowing how best to handle the money that is available to get the most value. A friend of mine who gets high on good tasting food, once said “you can only call yourself a good cook when you whip up a mean recipe from random left overs”. I find that to be true about food. Relating this to money, I think you can only say you are money smart when you are able to make 1000 spin you value, worth 10, 000. If she can’t spin money for value, she has a few yards missing in her material.

ii. Mother Material:

Not everyone intends to have kids, I know. But. If you want to have kids, wife material isn’t going to be enough. Having kids requires a lot of selflessness and willingness to make another human being, who isn’t in the position to effectively reciprocate, a major focal point in life. Don’t let the cute ‘twinning with mini me’ photos on Instagram fool you; there are more hectic parts to having kids and mother material is necessary to get through them.

iii. Opposite temperament:

Have you noticed how the longest married couples we know tend to have a distinct difference in temperaments? The husband and the wife can’t both be strict or snappy or carefree. One has to be more of one thing and the other, balances it out. It’s just simple ‘yin-yang’ rule…there has to be a balance. So no, you can’t be a person who takes life very seriously and be the wife material to that same type of man. Don’t stifle your home…attract your opposite.

At the end of the day, with this wife material thing, it is not ‘one-size-fits-all’. Some people need 10 yards of Ankara, others need 3 yards raw silk, while some will only function with 5 yards of Kente. So ladies, be the kind of material you know how to be, and gentlemen, find the one that fits you and accentuates you the most.